Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain has weathered another blow to his campaign, as the American Mustache Institute — which endorsed the former Godfather’s Pizza CEO in his presidential campaign back in October — has withdrawn its support, citing “pizza and mustache fraud” for their decision. Abraham Jonas Froman, chief executive officer for AMI, was quoted on the intitute’s website as saying that officials were disappointed with the pie they ordered at a Godfather’s Pizza in Cross Junction, Va., saying, “We ordered the ‘All Meat Combo’ that claims to be ‘piled so high with beef, pepperoni, sausage, ham and bacon bits that there’s no room for any veggies … But it had limited meat on it at best. Do you understand what ‘piled so high with beef, pepperoni, sausage, ham and bacon bits that there’s no room for any veggies’ really means? Cain clearly does not.” But the kicker, of course, is Cain’s mustache, which they now describe as “a theater quality upper lip garment, and not the labia sebucula (Latin for ‘lip sweater’) he claims to have worn since his early 20s.” Cain not only lost AMI’s endorsement for his presidential run, but he also missed out on winning the “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award” — which the institute nominated him for in October. AMI opted instead to give this year’s prize to Milwaukee Brewers pitcher John Axford, who won the award even though he’s Canadian.
