I celebrated a rather significant birthday recently. Though, to be honest, “celebrated” is probably the wrong way to put it. I spent the day in moody contemplation, trying to decide if I was going to be one of those salt-and-pepper guys you see in vitamin supplement ads — With NAD+ and creatine, I feel like I’m just getting started! — or one of those old men with a permanent I am opting out of whatever this is look on his face.

I tried to strike a balance between the two. One of the most enjoyable prerogatives of getting older is that the list of things you don’t have to do gets longer. For instance, I don’t have to pretend to be enjoying myself when I’m not. I don’t have to pretend I don’t know how something unfolding in someone else’s life is going to turn out because I know exactly how it’s going to turn out. I don’t have to worry that people might not like me because I really don’t have enough time for the friends I already have. In other words, I don’t have to prove anything anymore. It’s amazing and exhausting to think back and realize how much of my life was spent trying to do just that.