Every military unit has at least one guy who takes training too seriously, who doesn’t understand that training exercises aren’t war. He goes all-in on training. The ranger of training. The “trainger.”

I’ve told you about Specialist Grundle, with whom I served in the Afghanistan War. After a mock battle with civilian contractors hired to act as Opposing Forces (OPFOR), he would beg our leadership for the opportunity to conduct a solo raid upon their positions.