Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) fought for “children’s birthday parties” everywhere on the House floor Thursday.
Speaking in favor of the Responsible Helium Administration and Stewardship Act of 2013, which saves the Federal Helium Reserve from closing in October, Johnson asked his fellow congressmen to “imagine a world without balloons.”
“Imagine, Mr. Speaker, a world without balloons,” he said dramatically. “How can we make sure that the injustice of there being no helium for comedians to get that high pitched voice that we all hold near and dear to our hearts?”
Johnson quickly proved himself to be the punniest member of Congress, firing off balloon metaphors left and right.
“Today, the House has chosen to just simply float above it all,” he said. “Too often, lately, this body has sat deflated not for a lack of hot air mind you. But seriously ladies and gentleman, unlike a noble element, this House has failed to act on Americans’ real concerns.”
The House voted overwhelmingly Friday to keep the Federal Helium Reserve operational past October, 394 to 1.
Keeping the Federal Helium Reserve open, however, won’t end the country’s current helium shortage, as party stores nationwide have struggled to keep enough helium tanks in stock in recent months.
So for all you clowns out there, you may want to learn a new party trick.
You can watch Johnson “imagine a world without balloons” below.
