It’s that special time of year to get together with friends and family, give thanks — and lose your voice screaming about politics.
Being the lone conservative voice at a dinner table full of extended family can be troubling, but here at Red Alert, our writers have a surefire way to survive the Thanksgiving dinner table with your political beliefs and sanity intact.
Ryan James Girdusky: Treat this meal as blood sport
Coming from a blue-collar conservative family, we rarely have political arguments that don’t revolve around how all politics is nonsense or the president is terrible — so being the lone conservative voice usually happens at friendsgiving.
At friendsgiving, friends of friends, who you may run into several times throughout the year, inform you why we need to elect a woman president, feel the Bern, allow millions of ‘harmless’ refugees into our neighborhoods, and magically fix the gender wage gap.
You must understand that for at least 50 percent of people, their understanding of current events and politics consist of a meme they saw on Facebook that reconfirmed their own political bias.
The first and most important thing to do is fall back to conversations that they simply don’t understand much about — which isn’t hard because most liberals aren’t very bright. Then talk over them in such a way that will render them speechless and want to change the topic. The goal isn’t to win hearts and mind — reserve that for a softer holiday like Arbor Day. This is a blood sport. This is Thanksgiving.
Just don’t let it break down into a food fight.
Ron Meyer: Find agreement or get sassy
I will be enjoying Thanksgiving with in-laws who were personal friends of Gov. George McGovern — one of the most liberal Democrat presidential nominees in the last 100 years.
For copping with progressive relatives, you have two options:
1. Get creative: bring up thoughtful ideas where there might be some agreement
For me, I talk about how we shouldn’t be picking sides between ISIS and Assad in Syria. True progressives hate us being involved militarily in the Middle East, and we both should disagree with Obama’s approach. Picking sides between two radical factions in a civil war is plain dumb.
For others, here’s a list of some good common-ground topics: rebuilding America’s crumbling infrastructure, auditing the Pentagon for waste, giving more local control and funding to schools, and the need for more young people — no matter their views — to be active in the political process.
2. If all else fails, get funny and sarcastic
Brush up on your political one-liners by reading Ryan’s articles. If someone bring up the campus protests, loudly proclaim how you hate free speech and need to go cry in a ‘safe space.’ If someone brings up Bernie Sanders, say, “I remember when I walked into Walmart and thought everything should be free — then again, I was four years-old. Some people never learn.”
In all seriousness, keep it light, try to be uplifting and not a jerk, and engage your relatives like you actually love them.
Anthony Hennen: The laid-back, pro-stuffing approach
As is true during Thanksgiving, as is true in life: pick your battles. I, for one, am more than willing to jettison the win in a political argument for that delicious Thanksgiving stuffing. Heck, I’ll fain enthusiasm for Hillary Clinton if it means Aunt Helen gets out of the way so I can engorge myself.
Strategy matters, though. Christmas hits in about a month. Play the long game and avoid issues of contention. Don’t remind that wealthy uncle who’s a big supporter of someone who would destroy America how much you disagree with him. Stay in his good graces, get those gifts, then subvert the power structure later.
My go-to strategy is misdirection. Establish some common ground, then point out how much your cousin disagrees with another relative. Why get bogged down with immigration policy when you can establish your reputation as level-headed, with a few idealistic ideas, but certainly better than your ungrateful cousin.
If you still end up backed in a corner, accept that you can’t escape without a few bruises. All that’s left to do is help grandma wash the dishes. At least she’ll still love you.
Meghan Keenan: Be grateful, dodge debate
Although it is supposed to be a day to express gratitude for all of our blessings, if you’re not careful, Thanksgiving can turn into a stressful blur of travel, laborious meal preparation, and standing in line at the mall in freezing cold weather, pushing other people out of the way to buy a new flat screen television.
Not to mention the internal struggle over whether or not to respond when your drunk uncle decides to bring up the Syrian refugee crisis at the dinner table. Or, when in between questions about your relationship status, your grandmother tells you Donald Trump is going to “Make America Great Again.”
My best advice to you is to do your best to avoid the arguments and concentrate on what the holiday is really supposed to be about. Regardless of your religious and political beliefs, I think it’s important and healthy to take a day to just accept and respect others people’s opinions. If you are worried about arguments with your relatives on Thanksgiving, just think of how lucky you are that you get to spend the holiday with family at all, and that you have a delicious meal to enjoy with them. (You’ll feel better after eating some turkey and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. I promise.)
And if that doesn’t work, make sure you always have a back-up plan.
Rebecca Downs: My sister supports Bernie…
If there’s anyone who’s the “token,” it’s me. Not only am I the one conservative in my immediate family, I’m the one Roman Catholic. Even the non-liberals left in my family aren’t outspoken conservatives. And, don’t get me started on my 17-year old sister. She’s a huge Bernie Sanders fan — I’ll leave it at that.
If you can, avoid certain topics, at least so they don’t erupt in fits of anger or tears. With my family, they literally have. The next election is a major one, with less than three months away until the Iowa caucus. And, there are plenty of other political issues happening right now.
If these topics do come up, try to remain calm and level-headed. If the opportunity is right, feel free to express your opinion. Even if you’re the token conservative in your family, they likely know that already and you being there means they love you enough to let you be present for Thanksgiving! Should the conversation get really heated, feel free to excuse yourself for a moment or so.
Of course, there is fun to be had across all political ideologies. My family is inappropriate enough to thoroughly enjoy a game of Cards Against Humanity, for instance.
While Saturday Night Live is known for its comedy, they hit the nail on the head with their recent sketch, “A Thanksgiving Miracle.” There are plenty of other topics to discuss besides politics, like Adele for instance. She’s just broken *NSYNC’s Single-Week U.S. album sales record.
