Below is a preview of “Government Gone Wild: How D.C. Politicians are Taking You for a Ride — And What You Can Do About It,” provided exclusively to Red Alert Politics by Kristin Tate (a.k.a. “The Libertarian Chick”).
Chapter 9: Our Unprecedented Opportunity for Success — or Jackassery
My shoes were soaked as I hurried along a Boston sidewalk, wet with slush left over from the snow we had gotten last week—even though it was April. I was already twenty minutes late to meet Rob at Samurai, a hip sushi joint on Boylston Street. Oh, well, it’s not like I cared too much. This was a Tinder date, after all. Yes, I will admit it: I have used Tinder, and I am not ashamed! If you’re under thirty-five and you haven’t used it, you’re lying.
Anyway, I didn’t really know much about my date at this point. All I knew was that his name was Rob and he was an MBA student at the Sloan school at MIT. It seemed promising, but you never really know what you’re going to get with Tinder.
When I finally arrived, I was thirty minutes late. Rob had texted me earlier, saying he would be in a white shirt with a red tie. Scanning the room, I saw a bunch of trendy-looking couples, but no Rob. Then finally, in the back of the room, I spotted a man wearing a white shirt and a red tie—but that couldn’t be him. He looked…old.
Before I could look away and duck back outside, he waved me over. Crap! He saw me. As I got to the table, though, I don’t know if it was the dim light from the old-school incandescent bulbs, but he wasn’t necessarily bad looking. In fact, he was pretty sharp.
We ended up staying there for over four hours, until they closed. We talked about everything: our families, school, his obsession with rare coins, my passion for ending the Fed. You know, the usual. Rob turned out to be an interesting guy.
Surprisingly, it ended up being a pretty great date. Instead of ending in a blacked-out Uber ride home at 3 A.M. like I hear most Tinder dates end, we shared a quick kiss after dinner. I headed home, knowing that I wanted to see him again.
As soon as I got home, I called Bagels. Bagels is my best friend from high school, who got his nickname when he was caught stealing—yup, you guessed it—a bagel from the local grocery store in ninth grade. We all have our vices. Even though we ended up going to colleges in different cities, we still talked almost every day.
I told Bagels all about Rob and how much I liked him, and Bagels got right to work researching Rob on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Ancestry.com (standard procedure after all my dates). When I was really into a guy, there was nothing more pleasurable than obsessing over every post and picture he put up on social media—and analyzing it all with Bagels. (“He just posted a picture online with this weird girl. Who the hell is that bitch??? Oh wait… I just went to her profile… It’s his sister.” That kind of thing.)
We looked for Rob on Twitter but found nothing. It was a little odd, but I didn’t think much of it—maybe he just wasn’t that into Twitter. I knew he had a Facebook account—we were already Facebook friends. It was fairly inactive, though, with very few pictures or status updates. It had enough to keep us busy that night, but there was nothing really worthy of freaking out over.
As the week went on, I texted Rob several times, trying to initiate another date. His responses were always flirty, but he wouldn’t commit to another meet-up. Strange. If he was as interested in me as he had acted, why wouldn’t he want to go out again?
Then on the following Sunday, I saw that he posted a rare status update on Facebook, something to the effect of, I’m going to the Boston common for the afternoon. Look forward to taking in the nice weather!
Of course I called Bagels immediately.
That was when Bagels came up with a genius idea: I would go hang out at the park, just to read or do tai chi or something, and “accidentally” run into Rob. What a coincidence that I was there, too! The plan was perfect. Besides, hundreds (probably thousands) of people go to the Boston Common every weekend, and this was the first nice Sunday we’d had since winter—so it wouldn’t seem odd at all that I would be there.
Long story short, I never spoke to Rob that day. When I got to the park I saw him from afar pushing a stroller. The woman with him—his wife, no doubt—appeared to be in her late thirties. I managed to leave the park, in shock, before he spotted me.
Later that evening, when reality set in that Rob was a creepy married man, I sent him a text, confronting him: I had seen him with his family, and he was an awful, awful person for going on a Tinder date with me. Three hours later, this is the exact text I received in response: Do not contact me again. I am 42 years old and never had an interest in you.
Of course I was mad as hell. There he was, a married man, trying to pick up girls half his age on Tinder. And I knew he looked old, but forty-two? Seriously?! Still, after catching Rob I also felt empowered in a way. I had literally caught a man trying to cheat on his wife, and it felt strangely powerful to call him out on it. To this day, Bagels and I still refer to him as Rob 42.
Now, I could have done without meeting Rob 42, but thanks to apps like Tinder, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, I’ve actually met and connected with lots of cool people. My old roommate and I had our first conversation on Twitter; one of my longest romantic relationships was with someone I met on Facebook; I am able to keep up with Bagels, and other old friends around the country, on Snapchat; and in the case of Rob 42, I have Tinder to thank for one of the best cocktail party stories of my life.
Recent rapid advances in technology have allowed us to connect in faster, more efficient ways than ever before. But it’s not just communication that has changed—it’s our entire way of life. Thanks to massive open online courses and other online resources, you can now get a great education from a top university—even MIT or Stanford—from the comfort of your own bed. Not to mention, you can do it while Facebook messaging your bestie and checking out cat memes on Reddit. How awesome is that?
These days, Americans are insanely good at multitasking and processing information—faster than we ever were before. Sure, a fair number of us have attention deficit disorder, but we don’t really need a long attention span when we can learn calculus in our underwear at home, and politicians are making their presidential announcements with no more than a tweet and a snappy YouTube video. Yes, what was unheard of only a few years ago is now standard, and we’re set to take full advantage of it.
You’ve heard me complain about how closed-minded and isolated some folks can be. Well, with high-speed Internet becoming the norm and traditional cell phones being phased out in favor of smartphones with data plans and social media preinstalled, we have the means to combat that. The Internet has made it possible for almost everyone to meet, learn, argue, debate, discuss—even idiots and lowlifes like Rob 42 and Clinton 45. There’s no arguing that we’re a connected society (and if you feel compelled to, just leave your thoughts in the “comment” section). Today, we can see, hear, and gossip about everything everyone else is doing. It has never been easier to be an informed citizen than it is today.
And politics has been altered forever by the rise of social media. Back in the day, political campaigns were simple: The more places that a candidate physically visited to give rousing speeches, the more people would be willing to vote for them. It was a total money game, and those who couldn’t ante up simply got flushed out. But now the tide has turned. Politicians with smaller budgets actually have a shot at winning elections by connecting directly with voters to spread their message (though if I get one more e-mail from a politician with the subject line “hey,” I may scream).
And as voters, we can easily push out the unqualified jokers—every election has them—by simply fact-checking them on Google. Hell, we don’t even need to watch the speeches live anymore. We can catch the videos on YouTube or Vimeo, on our computers while reading up on the candidate’s gun control policy, or even on our iPhones while waiting in line at the polling booths. There’s absolutely no excuse for us to be uninformed.
So listen up, folks: An Internet storm is brewing, and it’s the perfect time for us to change America. It’s up to us to harness technology to not just play the political game, but to take it over.
Excerpted from Government Gone Wild: How D.C. Politicians Are Taking You for a Ride — and What You Can Do About It. (Copyright 2016) Used with permission from Center Street, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
