Shiver me timbers! Someone forgot to notify the folks at Disney’s Adventureland that political correctness is out of style.
The classic Pirates of the Caribbean ride is undergoing a historical readjustment; part of the boat ride that includes a “wench auction” scene, in which the pirates auction off women they’ve kidnapped for marriage, must be changed so that young Disney-goers don’t think that this is commonplace in modern society.
Instead, the historical auction scene will be replaced with pirates and villagers of both genders giving away their own items in what’s basically a “ye olde garage sale.” There is good news, however; the red headed character, apparently a noticeable favorite in the scene, will remain, but as a pirate (#ShePersisted).
One commenter on the Disney Parks blog post, which announced the ride update, remarked about the irony of the situation. Back in 2015, Simpsons’ episode, “The Man Who Came to be Dinner,” made fun of hypothetical changes to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. In the episode, cartoon scholar Lisa Simpson comments on the newly revamped PC-SJW Pirates ride at “Diz-nee-land.” Lisa explains, “they had to change this ride because of massive complaints by two people.” The Simpsons’ version includes the jailed pirates singing “No means no, we know that now!”, and one pillager being hanged for the crime of bias.
Another comment on the post said in part, “As one of the last rides Walt (Disney) oversaw I’m very sad they felt the need to change this. We need to stop shielding people from history. Why don’t we just give all the pirates cell phones instead of interacting with each other.”
Lest anyone think that the depiction of a wench auction was the tyrannical Walt Disney’s way of dealing with “nasty women,” it’s doubtful the same company that screams “Let it Go!” is encouraging young women to sell themselves off. Disney’s had a roller coaster history when it comes to pulling stories and events out of the time machine and into the modern world; the best example is one of their most famous water rides.
Splash Mountain opened in Disneyland in 1989 and at Walt Disney World in 1992. It is based off a movie they’ve locked away in the Disney Vault since 1986, Song of the South. The 1946 film brought to life the 19th century “Uncle Remus” stories which, while including delightful tales about Br’ers Rabbit, Fox, and Bear, included Uncle Tom imagery with Uncle Remus. Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed in 2010 that there are no plans to release the “antiquated” and “fairly offensive” movie. After all that’s said, why still have a ride based on a movie that’s not ever seen DVD, and barely on VHS?
In the wake of the changes to Pirates of the Caribbean, one of modern conservatism’s greatest thinkers connects this bygone era of pirates with more recent history.
By the way, Disney, as long as you’re disavowing animatronic pirates, why not apologize for a real pirate shooting insults out of a cannon at President Trump? We’re waiting, but we won’t hold our breath.
