Millennials have a flawed mindset when it comes to dating, and the institute of marriage is dying because of it.
Millennials think about dating with a very casual attitude, tending to avoid any kind of confrontation or conflict in a relationship and considering only what is comfortable or convenient for them as an individual.
This is evidenced by a myriad of silly millennial dating terms and phrases.
First, we have “breadcrumbing.” Breadcrumbing is another way to say leading someone on. Breadcrumbing involves leaving a trail of flirtatious text messages (breadcrumbs) or showing affection on social media without any intention of actually asking the person out. If someone is breadcrumbing on you, maybe they will actually ask you out, but they always end up canceling or changing plans on you last minute.
The second prominent trend in the millennial dating culture is “ghosting.” In fact, 78 percent of millennials admit they have been ghosted on. Ghosting is exactly what it sounds like — the person disappears on you, stops contacting you, and essentially cuts off all communication, often times out of the blue.
Lori Bizzoco, a relationship expert and founder of Cupidpulse.com says of ghosting, “A true ‘ghost’ will completely disappear from your life, and then weeks or months later, they reappear with a random text. If you haven’t been contacted for a week or more, then you’ve been ghosted and you really should cut him or her off.”
Another unhealthy dating term and behavior is “micro-dating.” Micro-dating is defined as engaging in small acts which result in developing an emotional attraction to another person while dating someone else. These acts can include texting, having their name on your phone under an alias or code name, getting a meal together, or enjoying a car ride together. No physical contact takes place, but it opens the door for something more to develop. As the relationship and attraction grow, the opportunities, and the likelihood of actual, physical cheating to occur increases dramatically.
Next up is “love-bombing.” Its name is akin to dropping an emotional bomb on someone. Love-bombing occurs “when you meet somebody and they have this instant chemistry or connection with you,” explains Bizzoco. Love-bombing is essentially an explosion of emotion, and often occurs at the start of a relationship, and occurs out of the blue. Think “love at first sight.” Since the relationship is brand-new, the affection seems unwarranted and thus is shocking for those on the receiving end of the bomb.
“Benching,” similar to the sports term, usually takes place in the beginning stages of a relationship. You’ve been on several dates and it seems to be going well. While the other party often continues to text or contact you, they have yet to ask you out again. Benching opens the door for transitioning into breadcrumbing and eventually ghosting.
These trends reveal an aversion to conflict and confrontation. Millennials don’t have the courage to actually break up with someone. Thus, they use one of these methods to distance themselves from the person, until the person gives up, loses interest, or gets the message. It’s these exact behaviors that make finding the perfect someone so fraught with heartache!
These same behaviors are also one reason why marriage is dying. For a marriage to last, you must learn to deal with conflict and confront an issue that stands between you and your spouse. Marriage is for life, not just for when it’s convenient for you, and unfortunately, these dating trends and terms show a strong lack of commitment amongst millennials.
Also Read: Millennials need to save marriage. Society depends on it
Katie Zehnder is a recent grad of Regent University. In addition to writing for Red Alert, Katie is an Editor for Red Millennial.
