The absurdity of college administrator job titles can be a grab bag of nonsense. Now, anyone with an urge can visit the University Title Generator for an inventive spin for a resume, such as “Associate Vice Coordinator of the Subcommittee for Athletic Partnerships” with estimated salaries.
“The title generator spits out a seemingly endless (and as many people online noted, disturbingly plausible) number of job titles for assistant chairs, liaisons and vice provosts for an equally endless list of task forces, committees and offices. Not satisfied? Simply hit the button labeled ‘Click here if this position is not prestigious enough for you’ to generate a new title — and a new salary,” Inside Higher Ed noted.
The humor tends to be subtle — many titles would sound natural in a university press release. From “Temporary Principal Deputy Provost for the Subcommittee for Academic Outreach” to “Executive Deputy Executive for the Task Force on Donor Planning,” the line blurs between myth and reality.
The title generator highlights administrative bloat, the explosion in college bureaucrats that are crucial for the modern university.
“Administrative positions at colleges and universities grew by 60 percent between 1993 and 2009,” The New York Times noted. The rise of the bureaucrat dwarfs the growth in faculty, or even proportional increases in the student body.
Part of that has been driven by students, faculty, and government dictate. State and federal governments require colleges to keep all sorts of data on students, provide services, and maintain compliance with law. Faculty want to focus on teaching and research, not filling out forms. Students want high-quality dining options, athletic centers, and personal services. Alumni want to know what’s happening at the university. All those demands create a need for administrators.
That doesn’t absolve bureaucrats of blame. The growth isn’t inevitable. Bureaucrats do a shoddy job of cutting costs and not eating students’ tuition. They outnumber faculty and grow colleges beyond their core missions. Their growth has been cancerous, driving costs higher. Were colleges to sober up and realize the nonsense of “Vice Chancellor of the Task Force on Dining Services” and “Associate Assistant Provost for the Committee on Strategic Academic Diversity” positions, as the generator ridicules, students might not get crushed by student debt.
