We’re sad to say that “Parks and Rec” has aired its finale episode, leaving a Pawnee-shaped hole in our hearts. And the greatest loss: Ron Swanson, a libertarian hero whose brave declarations of anarchy brightened his bureaucratic environment and educated millions in the ways of freedom.
It’s only fitting that we commemorate this day with a tribute to Ron’s best anti-government comments:
1. His beautiful dreams of a privatized government, where Chuck E. Cheese runs the parks: “Drop in a token, look at a duck.”
2. His brilliant ideas for limiting reckless government spending—like “take down traffic lights,” or “bring all this crumbling to the ground”:
3. His analogies for government:
4. His gleeful reactions to Pawnee’s government shutdown:
5. “If we’re lucky, this building will be empty for months.”
6. His outstanding vision of the perfect government:
7. His disdain for public services, including libraries:
8. His dutiful tutoring of the young in how taxation is theft:
9. “Am I interrupting something important?” “Impossible. I work for the government.”
10. His amazing jokes.
11. His noble goal for all government employees: to accomplish nothing.“I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.”
12. His attitude towards budget cuts: “Slash it! Slash it!”
13. “I have a permit.” “…This just says, ‘I can do what I want.’”
14. His 100 percent perfect reaction to receiving “government employee of the month,” the most shameful thing ever:
16. His insistence on total autonomy, even during the indignities of a doctor’s exam:
17. His definitions of libertarianism (and also communism):
18. His hatred of Canada, because he is a patriot.
19. His explanations of capitalism: “It’s what makes America great, and England OK, and France terrible.”
Don’t leave us, Ron.
