Likening the candidates to sandwiches, Samantha Bee reminded voters that they have something else on the menu: Gary Johnson, represented by a smiley face sandwich.
Bee sat down with Johnson so he could explain what he and his party are about.
“A Libertarian is fiscally conservative and socially liberal,” he said. “Government out of the bedroom, bring an end to the Drug War, and let’s stop with these military interventions.”
The interview involved “a checklist of what it means to be a Libertarian:”
- Legalized marijuana
- Not bailing out the auto industry
- Support for abortion
- Abolishing “guaranteed government student loans” along with the Department of Education which Johnson has spoken in detail about before
- Free markets
- “The model of the future should be Uber-everything,” including doctors, though Bee is not too thrilled with “surge pricing mid-colonoscopy”
Some went over well with Bee, but not all. “Here’s the thing with Libertarians,” she said. “I support basically every other thing you say.”
Bee was on a quest to find out “who is the real Gary,” especially since his campaign slogan is “Google Gary Johnson and find out,” which he said is “really objective.”
After a Google search (which necessitated having safe search on), Bee found out Johnson was a two-term governor of New Mexico where he balanced the budget. He also climbed Mount Everest and also bikes. He may not be “ready for the big leagues,” however, judging by certain awkward facial expression photos on his campaign website.
While Johnson may be not known, he at least has “a real advantage over Trump and Hillary because you’re not really disliked, you’re just not known,” Bee said to him. “All you really have to do now is just shut up and look pretty.”
Johnson supports marijuana, but will not be consuming any as president, which he says make him “a really disciplined cat.” Bee likened Johnson to a panther, while Johnson was excited to share that his high school nickname was “Jaguar Johnson.”
He admitted he’s not presidential enough to get elected, as he’s “a round peg in a square hole when it comes to the perception of what you’re supposed to be running for president.” Bee thinks Johnson is “pretty refreshing,” but perhaps a bit too “freaky deaky” to be president.
