The dangers of the internet are real, particularly for vulnerable teenagers whose youth and inexperience affect their digital interactions. There is much to be said for keeping girls safe as they engage with others online. But young men also face danger on the internet, and not just in what they might choose to search for and look at. Increasingly, young men are targets of “sextortion” schemes. And the results have been deadly.
These schemes involve scammers who prey on young men through social media sites, such as Instagram, social forums, gaming channels, and even text messages. The scammer, often operating from another country, will pose as a female and initiate contact with the young male that quickly turns intimate and explicit. The person posing as a female sends images or videos that are sexually graphic. He will then ask the young man to send some in return.
Once the scammer receives an image or video, they threaten to expose the young man to family, friends, and even the general public unless he sends money to quiet the scammer. Understandably, teenagers often don’t have the kind of money scammers demand. And the threat of being exposed to loved ones and entangled in a financially messy situation is enough to push some to suicide.
Just last month, 15-year-old Bryce Tate of West Virginia took his life three hours after becoming the victim of sextortion via text. The scammer who preyed on Tate demanded $500 for silence. According to authorities, “in the last 20 minutes of Bryce’s life, he was messaged 120 times.” This amplified an already massive amount of panic the young man felt. Unfortunately, Tate is just the latest young male victim.
In February 2022, 17-year-old Ryan Last of California killed himself after he was preyed on by a scammer who threatened to release explicit content unless Last paid him $5,000. The scammer was a man named Jonathan Kassi who posed as a teenage girl named Emily. According to police, “Kassi allegedly collected the blackmail money from the boys and sent it to a co-conspirator in Ivory Coast in Africa.”
The following month, 17-year-old Jordan DeMay of Michigan died of a self-inflicted gunshot after he was catfished by a Nigerian man posing as a female. The scammer, Samuel Ogoshi, demanded $1,000 for silence. When DeMay couldn’t pay him the full amount and mentioned committing suicide, Ogoshi responded, “Good. Do that fast. Or I’ll make you do it. I swear to God.”
In November 2022, 16-year-old Mississippi sophomore Walker Montgomery killed himself after being catfished on Instagram by a scammer claiming to be a young female. When Walker told the scammers he didn’t have $1,000 to keep them from releasing the sexually explicit content, “the catfishers told him to go ahead and kill himself because his life is already over,” the Clarion Ledger reports.
The heartbreak these parents and families feel is unimaginable. These teenage boys, active, vibrant, surrounded by loving families and with futures full of promise, were targeted and manipulated in unbelievably cruel and criminal ways. For all of them, and others, the walls closed in quickly. And they could not face the humiliation.
There are so many lessons to learn from these tragedies. First is the need to protect teenagers online. There is only so much the safety features on certain sites can do to prevent these crimes. They are minimal at best. Parents must stay vigilant and actively involved in the lives of their teenagers.
This means frequent check-ins. It means boundaries for private internet usage, especially late at night and in their own rooms. It also means tough conversations about online behavior, both what the teenager chooses to do and what others might try to do to them.
The sextortion scammers should be held accountable for their part in pushing others to their deaths. If possible, they should be charged as accessories to murder.
Parents also need to encourage teenagers and young adults that their worst moments don’t have to mean an end to their lives. Even the humiliation attached to the possible release of sexually explicit content is not the end of the world, even if it may certainly feel like it. This is a crucial lesson for teenagers with concerns about pleasing their parents and popularity among their peers. Add to that their emotional and mental immaturity, and suicide seems like the answer. But it never is, no matter the circumstances.
In a powerful interview after his son Walker’s suicide, Brian Montgomery addressed this very thing. “If you do fall into the trap, realize that the next day is not as dark as you might think it is,” he said, per the Clarion Ledger.
“If Walker had woken up the next day and all that those people said had come true and what he believed would happen; that people would not have wanted to see his face ever again, man, we would have picked up and moved somewhere if I thought I could have my son back,” Montgomery said. “Please understand that there are people out there that love you that much.”
RESTORING AMERICA: AI’S DYSTOPIAN INVASIONS OF PRIVACY ARE JUST BEGINNING
As a mother of two young sons, I have often thought about the things I will avoid by not having daughters. But the dangers facing young men are just as serious, even if they are different. Males commit suicide at a rate far higher than females. As noted on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website, “Males make up 50% of the population but nearly 80% of suicides.” Online dangers can easily turn life-ending.
As artificial intelligence and other technologies develop, the internet is sure to encroach on our lives even more. Proactive thinking is not a suggestion, but an absolute requirement.
Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a contributor to the Magnolia Tribune.
