Last week, Project Veritas released a video of an undercover reporter talking to a Chicago private school dean about his school’s sex education policy. The Dean describes having an “LGBTQ+ health center” come in to teach 14- to 18-year-olds about a variety of non-family-friendly topics, including sex toys like anal plugs and dildos, “queer sex,” and “using lube versus using spit.”
He also discusses students in the class passing the toys around and playing with them, asking, “How does this butt plug work?” He says he hasn’t run these lessons by school trustees because they would say, “That’s wonderful.” At the time of this writing, the video has been viewed 4.9 million times on Twitter. The school has since issued a statement in support of its employees, stating that the individual seen in the video was “filmed without his knowledge or permission” while talking about the school’s “inclusive … comprehensive approach to sex education.” It added that the dean’s words were edited and “severely misrepresented for a malicious purpose.”
As a former academic sex researcher, I am not shy around discussions about sexuality, including those pertaining to anal devices or prosthetic penises. At the same time, I can tell you there is no reason why comprehensive sex education requires a discussion of these subjects.
In contrast to abstinence-only sex education, which teaches students about abstinence to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, comprehensive sex ed discusses a wider variety of topics, including contraception and consent. I am strongly in favor of equipping children with accurate information about their bodies so they can make good sexual health choices when they are older. This information should, however, be age-appropriate and respectful of parents’ wishes.
Time and again, useful knowledge about one’s health and positive messaging about accepting others are conflated with sexually inappropriate, potentially grooming material. Parents who take issue with aspects of a curriculum, including graphic depictions of sex acts in children’s library books or striptease performances by drag queens, deserve to be heard and have their concerns taken seriously. They should not be dissuaded by allegations that they are overreacting, hateful, or closed-minded.
To spot warning signs, parents must be involved in their child’s education. Go to parent-teacher meetings, ask questions, and know where the school and individual teachers stand on these issues. Most importantly, talk to your children every day about what they are learning in the classroom.
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Dr. Debra Soh is a sex neuroscientist, the host of The Dr. Debra Soh Podcast, and the author of The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths About Sex and Identity in Our Society.
