The conversation I had at lunch might make the NBA’s All-Star Weekend the year’s greatest professional sporting event.
Eating my delicious pepper chicken and noodles at an Inner Harbor food court, my friends and I discussed what makes the NBA so great.
We also happen to be three of the only NBA fans left on the planet.
Our discussion turned to the dunk competition and All-Star Weekend, and how we thought it was the top midseason classic in sports. But we still felt it lacked something, lacked the drawing power to unite casual and die-hard fans.
Then, the idea hit us, one letter at a time: H-O-R-S-E.
The same, simple game every man, woman and child — even Air Bud — played growing up would be even more entertaining if it was played by the sport’s premier talent. I’m physically gifted — 6-foot, 275-pounds — and can’t dunk or dribble in a straight line, but I can shoot.
Who hasn’t taken half-court shots, tried to flip a shot over the backboard or make a free throw with their back to the basket? Plus, the rules couldn’t be easier — miss a shot, get a letter — so everyone could follow along without Hubie Brown dissecting the game’s intricacies.
Would it really be hard to kill off the Shooting Stars Competition? The event featuring a retired NBA player, a current NBA player and a WNBA player, representing their team’s city in a shooting competition is about as exciting as doing laundry, watching grass grow or going to an Orioles’ game.
Here’s how my H-O-R-S-E event works:
* It would be held before the dunk competition, which could begin at about 9 p.m. This way, if the event runs late, anyone staying up to see the dunk competition wouldn’t be upset if it was pushed back.
* It would consist of 16 participants seeded No. 1 through No. 16.
* The first round would be P-I-G to save time, followed by three rounds of H-O-R-S-E. This also allows for more potential upsets.
* The 16 participants would be comprised of 15 NBA players and one “X Factor” — a male or female fan who won the game’s version of American Idol to get a shot at the NBA’s superstars.
Think about it: A 5-foot-8, 310-pound guy named Hank from Detroit hits a three-point hook shot he practiced everyday on his driveway against top-seeded Kobe Bryant.
Now, the league’s MVP has to answer or face being down a letter to a guy who hates showering and has a mustache so big you can’t see his mouth.
Tell me the crowd wouldn’t be going bonkers and you wouldn’t be calling all of your friends to tune in immediately?
Like that wouldn’t get more than a million hits on YouTube?
Here are the rules:
» No dunking or slapping the backboard. Just because some players can elevate, it shouldn’t give them an advantage. The competition is about shooting and trick shots. If you want to see dunks, wait for the next event. I’d much rather see if a guy like Rashard Lewis, who signed a contract two years ago worth more money than I will earn in my lifetime, can make a left-handed layup.
» $2 million in prize money. This way, you don’t have no-names or scrubs filling the list of entries. Even LeBron James can’t walk away from that much money –or the bragging rights.
Right now, there is no doubt in my mind my parents — quiet, simple folks in their mid-50s from central Pennsylvania who go to bed at 9 p.m. and enjoy Hallmark Channel movies — would tune in to see this drama unfold.
And that’s the beauty of the event.
Every league knows they have their die-hards and season-ticket holders and big-time fans. But where the league makes its profits is by getting casual fans or nontraditional viewers to watch.
Someone who knows nothing about basketball who was flipping through the channels would be captivated by players like Gilbert Arenas and Dirk Nowitzki trading 30-foot bank shots.
The NBA needs to say Y-E-S to H-O-R-S-E.
And watch out, Kobe. Hank is coming for you.
