O, Christmas Tree
Can one judge a senator’s level of holiday spirit by his or her decorations? We’ll sure try.
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Sen. Daniel Akaka, D-Hawaii, is celebrating the season with dashes of tinsel and other kinds of ornaments floating around in his Senate office. Indeed, Akaka has even brought in fresh branches of Hawaiian winter flowers, put up Christmas stars, foil Christmas letters, and even hauled in a traditional Hawaiian Christmas tree called a mele Kalikimaka. Yes, Akaka’s office is festive. Perhaps the most.
Over in Sen. Chuck Hagel’s, R-Neb., office, however, they are happy with one-foot-tall Christmas trees in the office and a wreath on the door.
Sen. Jeff Bingaman, D-N.M., bests that with two wreaths on the front door. To compensate for not having a tree, the Bingaman staffers have installed pictures of New Mexico Christmas trees. Several, in fact. Does that count?
The pleasant Texans in Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison’s, R-Texas, office do indeed have a Christmas tree. But it’s not real. “It’s reusable,” quipped a press aide.
Democrat Ben Cardin from Maryland has no holiday tree set up, but his press aide told us that the office still has “standard decor.” But for those disappointed with the senator’s commitment to the season, you needn’t be blue: “The holiday festive spirit” as his press secretary called it, “is alive and well in his office.”
Sen. Wayne Allard, R-Colo., has a Christmas tree with “stuff up on it” and lights on the tree. But it is also fake.
Sen. John Barrasso, R-Wyo., bests him with a real, organic tree plus some holiday confetti.
Poor old Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., who is out campaigning in snowy Iowa, can be relieved to know that his office has a real Christmas tree. However, his rival for the Democratic nomination, Hillary Clinton, never returned our phone calls as to whether she has an office Christmas tree.
Those tourists despondent over the lack of Christmastime charm at Virginia Democratic Sen. Jim Webb’s office should head over to the Armed Services Committee, we’re told, where on the front door there is massive wreath with pictures of each senator hanging on adorning ornaments.
Sen. Ted Kennedy has also joined in on the anti-Christmas tree crusade. One would have suspected that the Democrat from Massachusetts, patriarch of a large Irish Catholic family, would have erected a massive Christmas tree in his office. But no. His staffer could report that the office was in a “definite” festive mood and that the office had one single Christmastime calendar that shows “the Capitol all lit up.” The senator’s aide then chuckled.
But over in Sen. Bernie Sanders’ office the mood is downright sour. “Are you guys in a festive holiday mood?” we asked an aide to the Vermont socialist. “No,” came the reply.
However, for all the gloom and doom, Sanders’ office remains a colorful and vibrant one. They’ve hauled in a Vermont Christmas tree (Vermont also being the state where the Capitol got it’s official Christmas tree) and a menorah.
