Roster purge can’t come quick enough.
Look out below — here come the Washington Nationals.
The Nats are fading faster than a fat man jogging through McPherson Square. Manager Frank Robinson said finishing .500 is a long shot. The only thing missing is a white flag atop RFK Stadium.
Washington can’t trade Alfonso Soriano enough times over the next 11 days. The Nats have ordered emergency scouting reports of Seattle’s farm system to see what they can fleece from the Mariners. That is, if they can’t rob Detroit or the New York Yankees first.
Nick Johnson is being booked for an aisle seat given successor Larry Broadway is batting .304 at New Orleans. Livan Hernandez isn’t buying green bananas. Players may need to wear nametags on the front of their uniforms.
After months of speculation and promises by incoming owners to make changes, we’re counting down to ground zero of the franchise’s rebirth. The grand re-opening on Friday versus the Chicago Cubs featuring edible food and reduced ticket prices seems only appropriate given the roster is about to start once again.
The Nats are repeating last year’s second-half collapse, only this time it means 100 losses. There’s no sense trying to keep this group together because they’re outmanned. Washington will spend the rest of the season seeing what the next generation can do. It can’t be worse than the slapstick 7-6 victory over Florida on Tuesday when Washington tried everything to give it away.
Team president Stan Kasten has greenlighted the purge and Trader Jim Bowden won’t sleep until the July 31 trade deadline ends. Ironically, the Redskins open training camp that afternoon as the local sports world shifts to Ashburn. Come Labor Day, you’ll be wondering whatever happened to the baseball team that came to Washington. Just check deep in the cellar. They’re down there with Dick Cheney.
Trading Soriano is really disappointinggiven he’s the team’s only All-Star. At least Soriano’s hitting homers again to increase trade value. The prospect of getting some real pitching gems from Detroit is exciting, but who likes to see the big bat traded?
Sending Matthew LeCroy away is also disillusioning. We middle-aged, balding fat guys need someone like us to watch. Maybe they can trade for David Wells or Cory Raymer can play baseball after not re-signing with the Redskins.
We’re down to watching Ryan Zimmerman. He really is going to be the next Brooks Robinson. When Zimmerman’s not banging out winning hits, he’s throwing someone out from behind third base. Zimmerman’s the franchise, not Soriano.
The Nats have decided that to take one step forward to become competitive, they have to take at least two steps backwards to rebuild. If trading a few players now can help restock a farm club with less offerings than Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard, then so be it. How much worse can it get given the Nats have the third fewest wins in the NL and fifth least in baseball?
Anyone who sits in that sauna called RFK on summer evenings with a team this bad should qualify for sainthood. You think it’s hot outside? Try sitting under the curved roof that bakes everything like Betty Crocker. Beer sales should definitely spike, if only so fans can forget what they’re watching. Notice the new owners didn’t lower the price on that item.
Oh well, the Nats were a nice diversion before arguing over Mark Brunell versus Jason Campbell. It’s almost time to start wondering how the Redskins are going to spread the wealth on offense. Not exactly a conversation going on at RFK nowadays.
Rick Snider has covered local sports for 28 years. Contact him at rsnider@dcexaminer.
