A big man walks into camp,
He says, Why am I stuck in the middle now?
Why am I stuck in the middle?
Playing nose tackle is so hard!
I need a new opportunity,
I want a shot at playing end!
Don’t want to end up a nose tackle
In this 3-4 graveyard …
Nose tackle, nose tackle,
Dogging it in Arizona.
Far away, in the late night.
Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly,
Got all that weight off of me!
You know, I don’t find Washington amusing anymore.
If you’ll let me play end,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Shanny,
And Shanny, when you call me,
You can call me Al!
A big man walks into Redskins Park,
He says, Here’s why I can’t practice.
Got a big reason I can’t practice,
And whoa, it’s something you’ve never heard of.
Where’s my $21 million bonus?
What if I don’t want to play here?
Who will take me now?
Now that my reputation is …
Gone … gone.
He ducked out of the heat,
Like some roly-poly, overpaid headache.
All along … along …
There were incidents and accidents,
There were hints and allegations …
If you’ll let me play end,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Shanny,
And Shanny, when you call me,
You can call me Al!
A big man walks into FedEx Field,
It’s a stadium in a strange world.
Maybe he’s on the second string.
Maybe he’s not first this time around.
He doesn’t speak the Redskins’ language,
He holds all their currency.
He is a distraction, man,
He is surrounded by the sound, sound …
Boos from almost every place.
Scatterings of applause.
He looks around, around …
He see other places in the NFL,
Looking infinitely better,
He says, Harumph! and See ya!
If you’ll send me to the Titans,
I can be your long gone pal!
I can call you Shanny,
And Shanny, please don’t call me,
Please don’t call me Al!
Please don’t call me Al!
