Are you ready for a new Monday night party? Hank Williams Jr. and his rowdy friends are gone. Time for a new “A-list” star to sing the “Monday Night Football” anthem. If ESPN were smart, they’d get a different act each week to create pregame buzz. Fans would tune in a few minutes early to see who it is.
Williams was awesome belting out that tune. Following him won’t be easy. There’s nothing saying it can’t be a new song, though. Maybe ESPN has musical acts sing a few hits at the stadium and end by revving up the crowd with “Are you ready for some football?”
Here are a handful of replacements that would surely ignite the Twitter world.
Roseanne Barr is Williams’ perfect female counterpart. Sure she can’t sing, but Roseanne’s definitely one of the rowdy friends ESPN wants to retain. (Not that the rowdy friends will suddenly start attending the opera on Mondays instead of watching the games.)
Barr admits the 1990 national anthem debacle was her worst mistake in show business. But unlike Williams, she apologized so let’s move on. It’s not like this song is a national treasure or religious tune. It’s meant to pump the blood and Roseanne would create a big reaction.
How about former Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb? He already knows how to play air guitar; once mimicking Williams when entering the tunnel before a Philadelphia-Dallas game. The now Minnesota passer plays at Green Bay on Nov. 14 and could pretend to perform “Purple Rain.”
Maybe it could be a duet between coaches playing that night? Jerry Glanville would return to the NFL just for this. Good thing Washington coach Mike Shanahan and New England coach Bill Belichick meet on a Sunday later this season because it would be 30 seconds of silence. Neither would sing a line thinking it would help the other sing his.
Lady Gaga would be a show-stopper. No telling what Madonna’s successor might do, but it would be a show-stopper. “Edge of Glory” could be the best sports anthem since Queen’s “We are the champions,” which was awesome until heard 10,000 times.
Country traditionalists could tune in to Dwight Yoakam. The rockabilly star tours with Buck Owens and a “Hee Haw” version would be a jaw dropper.
It doesn’t always have to be a song. Maybe former Redskins coach Marty Schottenheimer could recite a few lines from William Shakespeare’s “Saint Crispin’s Day” speech.
“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers,” Schottenheimer would say in his “One Voice” style “For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile.”
Gets me ready for battle every time.
Or finally, just have Homer Simpson at Moe’s bar with his buddies. They’re what Monday nights are all about — a party among friends.
Examiner columnist Rick Snider has covered local sports since 1978. Read more on Twitter @Snide_Remarks or email [email protected].
