This is … um, Beggie. Beggie Rush. Yeah, that’s right. You may remember Beggie from his days at the University of Southern California, though a lot of people keep telling Beggie there isn’t much resemblance — other than the fact he continues to be paid to play football. He’s not sure what that means but whatever.
About five years ago, you entrusted Beggie with your most valuable possession. (Oh! Trust! Now Beggie understands your name!) Since that time, Beggie has collected many other trophies, including a lovely lady, though she’s no longer around. Beggie’s pretty sure you can look her up on the Interwebs if you want, though. (Maybe not at work.)
So that brings Beggie to his dilemma: Beggie no longer can find room for this honor in his house. Beggie had it on his mantle next to his national championship ring, but now he wants to display his nice Super Bowl ring there instead. All Beggie’s years in the French Quarter have taught him a lesson: When in doubt, surrender. As a result, Beggie had decided to forfeit the trophy. No big deal. It doesn’t really look much like Beggie anyway. (Besides, Beggie heard on ESPN you might want it back. He can rush it over to you since he doesn’t do a lot of that anymore.)
In writing you, Beggie doesn’t want to besmirch the hard work of his teammates, the steady guidance of his coaches, the inspiration of the fans and the unconditional love of his family and friends. So let’s try to keep this between you and Beggie.
If you can’t keep this on the down-low or even misremember it, please write Beggie back so he can craft a statement to make himself look like a victim. Also, maybe Beggie can do some work with kids. Working with kids always makes athletes look good. Or maybe Beggie can do an one-on-one interview with Jim Gray to discuss where you can send the trophy’s talents.
Sincerely,
Beggie Rush
P.S. Please don’t give it to Vince Young. Beggie holds grudges.
