Tanking on the field
You all remember the expression: “Settle it on the field.”
Well, liberals and conservatives did just that Wednesday evening, as conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation (“Capitalist Fools”) took on liberal wonky shop The Center for American Progress (“Leftfielders”) in a game of softball for the very first time. Both are part of the D.C. Think Tank League, whose motto is “Smart People Playing (Poorly).”
Attempts to schedule a game between the competing think tanks in years past failed (they couldn’t “think” of a mutually agreeable time and place … ha!), but since the two landed in the same league this year, there were no more excuses left.
The game began with a serious deficit on the Heritage sidelines. The CAP coterie of about 50 fans and players far outnumbered the merry band of about 15 die-hards cheering on the supply-side sluggers. The teams eyed each other warily throughout the game, and it was during the fourth inning when the free-market system collapsed and the progressives exploded with 10 runs.
Final score: 24-11, in favor of the Leftfielders.
Although tension may have reigned on the field, a little postgame perspective seemed to calm both sides. A follow-up e-mail from the Heritage coach called it a “well-earned victory for CAP.”
But a Heritage spokesman told us, “We have two teams, so they beat half the Heritage team. Presumably the other team will play them later in the season and they’ll beat them.”
