Paris Hilton is actually turning to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for help squirming out of her 45-day jail sentence. The heirhead, who is appealing the case, linked from her MySpace page to a petition that says she “provides hope for young people all over … the world” and implores the Governator to pardon her. Puh-leeze!

Madonna may be on brink of divorce

According to a new report in a U.K. tabloid, Madonna’s marriage to Guy Ritchie is hanging by a thread, with the couple making a last-ditch effort to salvage things through counseling. One source tells News of the World, “They’re in total meltdown and row nonstop whenever they see each other.”