Florida Polytechnic “University” (it isn’t accredited) is making headlines this week by opening a bookless library. Instead of checking out traditional codex books, students will be forced to read class material on tablets, e-readers, and/or laptops. According to the middle-aged librarians and bureaucrats who run the school, a bookless library will appeal to the youth. Abandoning books will make the library more “relevant” to students, they say. Never mind that Pew has found that millennials are less likely to favor e-readers over traditional books than members of older generations.

Librarians eschewing books to cluelessly appeal to “the kidz” is reminiscent of nothing so much as aging fuddy-duddy fathers who try to appeal to their kids by speaking in already outdated hip-hop slang.