We’re pretty sick of lame, patently fabricated tabloid tales about how Jennifer Aniston is desperate to have a baby. But we could not pass up the chance to share a priceless National Enquirer story titled — no joke — “JEN’S TICKING BIO-TERROR CLOCK.” You can’t make this stuff up, people.

Unfortunately, the article does not make a compelling case that the former “Friends” star’s ovaries are potential weapons of mass destruction. Rather, a pal confides that “Jen started off 2010 with a New Year’s resolution that she’d become a mom, whether that meant adopting or getting pregnant. But Jen freaked out after her romantic comedy ‘The Bounty Hunter’ bombed, so Jen is feeling insecure about her career.”