Don’t hunt elephants, hunt these 5 animals in America instead

On Friday, President Trump suspended a decision that would have allowed Americans to import elephant trophies.

I don’t understand why someone would want to hunt an elephant in the first place.

First off, these majestic creatures are threatened by declining populations. Second, elephants are large and often slow-moving, so they don’t offer much of a challenge to a self-regarding hunter.

Moreover, assuming you have the requisite licenses, there are a plentiful array of animals worth hunting in the United States. As you consider your upcoming Thanksgiving feast, contemplate these five alternatives for fun, sustainable, domestic hunting.

Alligator

Abundant in population and ancient in heritage, alligators know how to hide and how to fight. That makes them a worthy target for hunters across the Florida Everglades.

They also make a good meal — when cooked and seasoned, alligator meat tastes sort of like a marinated chicken. High in protein and low in fat, you should try it.

Deer

While deer hunting is obviously a well-known national pastime, too few Americans regularly kill the deer they then eat in the form of venison.

While cost is an understandable concern, signing up for a weekend hunt offers the chance to hunt under the guidance of an expert who can show you how to kill, strip, gut, and then cook a great dinner.

Catfish

When I recently suggested the beauty of catfish hunting/eating to a friend, she responded, “No thanks, it’s a bottom-feeder.”

This is true, catfish are indeed bottom feeders.

Nevertheless, hunting catfish by hand provides a touch of danger and a patriotic service. After all, considering catfish are a highly invasive species, every catfish you catch is a victory for the United States over a capable and determined invader.

Finally, assuming they are cooked thoroughly, marinated, and served with a fresh potato salad and some greens, catfish offer a cheap and enjoyable center to any dish.

Pheasant

An elegant and distinguished bird, the pheasant also offers many opportunities for enjoyable hunting. Pheasant hunting requires walking a lot, and is suitable for family days out in the countryside. It’s the definition of class.

Pheasant’s rich and gamey meat makes it the all-star alternative to jayvee turkey.

Wild Boar

As I’ve explained, wild boar is the crème de la crème of sustainable hunting. Invasive and aggressive, boars often travel in packs and can pose a threat to hunters. Yet that makes them a challenge to hunt and kill; especially if one employs archery rather than firearms. At the same time, while they must be cooked thoroughly to be eaten safely, boars provide meals fit for kings.

This Thanksgiving, forget elephant hunting and look toward plentiful hunting opportunities here at home!