For the normies whose brains have not been broken by a terminal internet addiction, this year’s Super Bowl was a shocking and welcome blast to the past. After years of “woke” advertising rife with outright disdain for traditional masculinity and millionaire athletes cosplaying as anti-American slactivists by kneeling for the national anthem, Sunday’s big game was palpably and pleasantly apolitical. And at the center of the victory for old-school Americana — the Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers in front of Nancy Pelosi’s face! — were power couple Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift.

Perhaps it’s the boring married lady in me, but I couldn’t help but break out into a smile when Kelce, the burly tight end as quintessentially alpha as a football star could be, beckoned his Barbie-like beau for a kiss for all the world to see. After listening to her heart be broken by a string of flighty and effeminate artsy boys for more than a decade now, Swift fans from Scranton, Pennsylvania, to Singapore cheered on the Super Bowl victor and the pop music sensation.