For a powerful congresswoman and presidential hopeful, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is sure talking a lot about marriage and parenthood.
This may be progress. While the old guard of her party — think Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer — put family front and center, the next generation of the party’s leaders has been less family-oriented.
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But this week, AOC, age 36, announced she will be freezing her eggs, because she doesn’t want to have children now, and is unsure about the future. Then a couple of days later, amid news reports that her long-term engagement with Riley Roberts had ended, she posted a video on Instagram warning women of getting married young, for fear they would end up with “losers.”
Everyone has their own personal journey, and we don’t know why AOC and Roberts didn’t tie the knot or even set a date earlier. One’s late 30s is when most college-educated left-wing women first consider having children, but one’s late 30s is when the most ambitious politicians first consider running for president. So, for AOC, it’s complicated.
But what about her massive audience? What about her 9.6 million followers on Instagram, and the 9% of Democrats, mostly young and mostly female, who would pick her for president? Should they follow AOC’s lead?
We should all hope America’s presidential candidates aren’t our role models, but again, AOC seems to be grounding her candidacy in a particular lifestyle. It’s a lifestyle peddled by plenty on the Left, but still is a minority preference.
Almost no Americans, for instance, believe the best time to get married or start having babies is after age 35.
And while feminist writer Jill Filipovic writes that “I would also advise women not to get married before 30,” only 15% agree, and only 20% say the 30s are optimal for having a first child.
But on these personal questions, the most common American answer is “whatever.” Nearly 50% say there is “no best age” to get married, and 40% say there’s no best age to start having children.
While it’s certainly true that there’s no one best path for everyone, there is a lot of data that points in a certain direction, and it’s not the direction AOC is pointing.
Married women are significantly happier than unmarried women, and marriage seems to even be good for one’s health. While having children later is correlated with some positive outcomes, freezing one’s eggs in hope of becoming a mother around age 40 is not a great bet — less than 10% ever return to use them, according to a 2025 study by UCLA scientists, and not all of them are successful.
AOC CAN HAVE A ‘FULL’ LIFE WITH A CAREER AND A BABY
Everyone’s circumstances are different. Many people take a long time to meet the right gal or guy. But on average, focusing on career and autonomy until the eve of 40 is a risky bet.
AOC’s circumstances are extraordinary. It might work for her. But the yearslong-engagement, don’t-get-married-until-late-30s-or-later, freeze-your-eggs-for-a-baby-in-your-40s plan is not a well-trodden road to familial bliss.
