I went to the District of Columbia Department of Vital Records yesterday to pick up my baby’s birth certificate. At the door, I was told I could not enter unless I showed them government-issued identification.
I thought about protesting that this was not fair — that we don’t say “show me your papers” in America, and that this requirement would cause untold harm to the millions of elderly and minorities who supposedly lack drivers’ licenses (and therefore evidently never fly in planes, buy liquor or cough medicine, start bank accounts, or drive cars).
But of course, none of that is true. So I showed them my driver’s license, emptied my pockets for the metal detector, and sheepishly walked through. When I arrived in the office to collect the birth certificate, they required me to show my ID once again.
I didn’t promise this would be an exciting story.
In case there are any birthers in the audience, I’d just like to add that, as everyone does, including President Obama, I obtained the short-form birth certificate, not the long-form one. It is a perfectly valid document for purposes of identification.
