ANY EXCUSE TO SHOP
A new D.C. transplant and her guest took a break from a hot day of walking around Old Town Alexandria to get a beer and nachos in an air-conditioned bar.
The waitress recommended Summer Shandy. “A beer that tastes like lemonade; that’s exactly what I’ve been craving,” the D.C. woman said with satisfaction.
After the respite they planned to head back to the District, when they conjured up a vague (and inaccurate) memory of a zero-tolerance drinking and driving law in the city. But that didn’t kill their cheer.
“Oh well. I guess we’ll just have to shop more.”
THE DEEP, BLUE POOL
A 3-year-old Cheverly boy delighted his mother when he declared, “Mommy, I love you as high as the sky!”
His mother responded, “I love you as deep as the ocean!”
The boy’s eyes widened as he marveled at this new simile. Then he came up with another one.
“Well I love you as big as the Cheverly pool!”
PASSING THE BUCK
Travelers at Washington Dulles International Airport were not pleased to find a 45-minute wait in not just the security line, but the premier-access line.
Only two of three ID-checking standards were staffed, along with only four of 10 X-ray machines. Hearing complaints, an airport usher said, “Tell it to TSA.”
So he did. A TSA employee said, “We need more staff.”
HAPPY ENDING
From the window of a bar in Petworth, a group of revelers watched as a dog darted across four lanes of Georgia Avenue traffic before making a beeline for a nearby alley.
A blond woman among the group shot out of the establishment and sprinted after the dog, spotting it in the alley before chasing the pooch around the corner of New Hampshire Avenue.
Ten minutes later, the woman returned to the bar with the dog in her arms, where a neighbor of the dog’s owner recognized the mutt.
Together, they walked the spooked dog home.
NO NEED FOR TERMINIX
A D.C. woman’s fervent and ongoing war with cockroaches in her neighborhood reached new heights one night last week when she opened her front door and could tell, even in the dark, that the black dot before her was not a normal spot on the carpet.
She swiftly switched on the lights, dropped to her knees and paddled the bug with her flip-flop.
After her miniadrenaline rush, she sat on the floor and marveled at her new roach-hunting skill: She needed no night-vision goggles to find them.
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