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With multimillion-dollar jury awards in medical malpractice suits driving up the cost of liability insurance for physicians — and thus the cost of health care to consumers — President Barack Obama today backed a health care malpractice reform plan that would create a “public option” law firm to sue doctors for “reasonable” damages.
“We need to keep these ambulance-chasers honest,” Obama said. “These sharks are becoming obscenely wealthy by tugging the heartstrings of compassionate jurors, who then grant ridiculous damage awards for pain and suffering, which makes malpractice insurance rates skyrocket and jacks the price of health care for everyone.”
The president said, “No one knows better than the U.S. Congress how desperately we need a public option malpractice firm to boost choice and competition. Most members are either lawyers like me, or got elected by befriending lawyers who became major campaign contributors. I’m sure they’ll be receptive to my plan because they have that rare combination of being public servants who are committed to equal justice under law.”
The public option medical malpractice firm will sue a doctors for actual damages and expenses, and a 10 percent fee to cover the cost of preparing the case.
“By having one group of lawyers in the land who act with unquestioned integrity,” said the president, “we’ll force the private-sector bloodsuckers to drastically reduce their fees.”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calf., and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., released a joint statement hailing the president’s proposal, and noting that “every private enterprise in America would benefit from a public option alternative, and we’re confident attorneys will embrace the personal sacrifice.”
Examiner Columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world’s leading family-friendly news satire source.
