Dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly Sunday morning. Deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the weaving Dodge Intrepid. The car reached speeds of up to 40 mph. When it stopped, the little guy jumped out and ran inside his home.

The boy told authorities he had taken the family car to avoid going to church.

Trouser snakes

A motorist blamed a multicar crash on two pet baby snakes in his pants.

Angel Rolon claimed he lost control of his sport utility vehicle in Hartford, Conn., when the snakes slithered out of his pants pockets down to the gas and brake pedals. As he and a passenger tried to catch the reptiles, the SUV veered into some parked cars and overturned.

Animal control officers never found the snakes, police said.

He gets the honeymoon suite

A Louisiana man was arrested for drunken driving after he mistook a police station for a hotel.

State troopers say Mitchell Deslatte, 25, pulled into their parking lot and knocked on the front door.

After troopers buzzed him in, Deslatte asked if he was in a hotel. It wasn’t but police had a place for him to stay anyway — after they booked him on a DWI charge.

Mr. Ed wouldn’t let this happen

A woman ticketed for riding a stolen horse through town blamed the deed on the steed.

Police in Six Mile, S.C., found Tracy Nadine Ellenburg, 40, in a convenience store after responding to a report of a woman riding a horse down the center of Main Street and weaving back and forth and stopping traffic. Officers found the tan horse, named Fancy, tied to a bench and found Ellenburg inside the store trying to use a phone.

With slurred speech, Ellenburg explained that she was riding the horse to her boyfriend’s house. When asked about her drinking, the woman said that she “wasn’t drunk, the horse was.”

Ellenburg was given a ticket for disorderly conduct. The owner of the stolen horse declined to press charges.

Paging Lorena Bobbitt

The New York Post is reporting that a Queens nurse allegedly poured scalding hot water on her hubby’s genitals for cheating on her.

“I didn’t know what had happened,” Emmanuel Ojofeitimi told the Post from his hospital bed, where he was recovering from second- and third-degree burns over 30 percent of his body. “By the time I woke up, the skin was falling off.”

Ojofeitimi’s wife, Oyindamola, 67, was charged with assault and harassment.

Ojofeitimi said his wife accused him of cheating, despite his claims of being faithful lately. But Ojofeitimi said his wife of 21 years had never gotten violent before.

“I will file for divorce,” he said, “but I don’t want her in jail.”

Compiled by Scott McCabe.