The deputy arrived and parked in Bass’ driveway.

While inside, Bass’ own pit bull chomped on the police cruiser tires, puncturing all four and deflating them.

Bass was billed $500 for a new set of wheels.

20 million men have had the Viagra conversation. Has this guy?

A Florida man who got behind the wheel after taking Viagra was arrested after a mom with two children in her pickup truck complained that he was masturbating in the next lane.

She phoned 911, got his plate number and followed the man until Manatee County deputies pulled the suspect over.

Douglas Benkert, 49, told deputies had just bought the Viagra from the pharmacy and downed a pill on his way home.

Benkert said he was not masturbating, just adjusting himself.

Is that a pot roast in your pants, or … ?

An armed robber eluded authorities after a police dog got sidetracked by the scent of stolen raw meat stuffed in a homeless man’s pants.

Framingham, Mass., police did not catch the robbery suspect but they did find $68 worth of meat in Edward J. Brown’s trousers. He was arrested after he admitted that he had taken it from a grocery store, said police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany.

Explained Shastany to the MetroWest Daily News, “The dog must have smelled a tasty dinner in his pants.”

Just say no (to employment)

Reno, Nev., police arrested a drug counselor on charges that he stole his work van and became so high on methamphetamine and heroin he had to be hospitalized.

Police said David John Miele, 49, was a youth counselor for Teen Challenge International, a Christian-based residential program for adolescents suffering from drug addiction, abuse or who are gang members.

According to police, they responded to the Everybody’s Inn motel on a report that a man was outside yelling and falling down. He was in the company of a known prostitute, police said, and allegedly had recent injection marks on his body.

After his arrest, a supervisor went to the scene retrieve the work van and fired Miele on the spot.

… And they’re off!

A Washington man without pants has been accused of harassing his neighbor’s horse.

The owner spotted a bald, pantless man chasing the horse in a corral about 3:30 a.m. A day earlier, deputies were called to the home when the owner saw the same bald man scare the horse so badly that it to broke through an electrical and barbed-wire fence to get away from the man. That time he was wearing a T-shirt and blue shorts.

Next-door neighbor Brandon R. Hankel, 26, was jailed on charges of trespassing.