Aloe, goodbye
A man in Massachusetts was caught shoplifting after he stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants.
Police say mall cops chased Chamil Guadarrama, 30, from a Bath and Body Works but he had stuffed so many of the eight-ounce bottles into his pants that his trousers were bursting at the seams and he could barely run.
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Police say he could not bend over to get in the police cruiser until some of the bottles were removed. Guadarrama wore ordinary trousers but had string tied around each ankle to keep the bottles from slipping out. Police found nearly five gallons of the lotion on him, worth about $787.
Guadarrama was charged with shoplifting.
Son of a gun
A 21-year-old Milwaukee man thought it would be funny to wear a ski mask and pretend to rob his mother when she got home.
Apparently, the mom didn’t get the joke and she shot him in the groin with a .357 revolver.
The man’s injuries are serious but not life-threatening. He told police that he was only pretending to rob his mother.
Investigators aren’t necessarily buying his story.
Shock your booty
A Wisconsin man was jailed for shocking a male dance instructor with a stun gun, claiming the instructor was a “sinner” who “defiles married women.”
Prosecutors said Kevin Johnson, 59, of Baraboo, arranged a lesson at the instructor’s home and showed up with a stun gun and sledgehammer. When the instructor opened the door, Johnson shocked him repeatedly in the neck with the stun gun.
Johnson told a detective that his church does not condone touching while dancing and that he was going to scare the instructor “and tell him to leave the women alone.”
Booze runner
Police say a man suspected of stealing a bottle of schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store didn’t plan the best escape route.
The 26-year-old grabbed the booze, ran from the store and hid in a nearby building, which happened to be the police station.
The man figured out where he was and fled, but not before a dispatcher spied him and alerted officers.
– Scott McCabe
