Michael Bloomberg is trying to make nanny-state authoritarianism cool with the kids again. Yes, he wants to ban soda and vapes, disdains the free press, and supported randomly searching black people for decades — but hey, his social media team posts relatable content!

Just kidding. It’s actually all pretty cringey anyway. Bloomberg didn’t qualify for Tuesday night’s Democratic presidential debate, so his team decided to troll for attention on Twitter with fingernails-on-chalkboard-level content.