Writing for the New York Times, Roxane Gay argues that you should never have to take a joke. Instead, thin skin and fragility are the way to go.

Gay is careful to note that her piece is not a defense of Will Smith sauntering onto the Oscars stage to smack Chris Rock over a joke about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. “Instead, this is a defense of thin skin,” she writes. “It is a rejection of the expectation that we laugh off everything people want to say and do to us.”