It’s being called the “best exercise app out there,” “wonderfully immersive” and has sent Nintendo’s stock soaring almost 25 percent.
“Pokemon Go” is a smartphone app — an “augmented reality” game — reminiscent of the old Pokemon games on Game Boy and other platforms that is poised to surpass Twitter in daily user count.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Over the weekend, as “Pokemon Go” quickly became the escape vehicle of choice for those tired of a news cycle that seemed to get worse by the day, it’s only natural for us to wonder: What would 2016 look like if reality looked just a little more like the world of Pokemon?
Donald Trump: Electrode
Ever since his unorthodox campaign announcement, political experts have been predicting that Donald Trump’s self-destruction is near. “Just wait,” they’ve said. “This time, he’s really going to blow up.”
But it’s never the case. Despite numerous opportunities, Trump’s supporters remain loyal and his campaign continues to electrify the 2016 race. Because of his ability to keep on rolling while his fellow Republicans view him as a ticking time bomb, Electrode is the obvious choice to describe Trump. Just make sure you stand back.
Hillary Clinton: Butterfree
Anyone who played the original Pokemon games (or watched the television show) will know Butterfree instantly. The final evolution of one of the first Pokemon your character meets, Butterfree is a staple in Pokemon lore.
But this Pokemon is also a (mostly) perfect analogy for Hillary Clinton’s presidential run. Few politicians have “evolved” on as many positions as Clinton: Her wavering on the Trans-Pacific Partnership; her changing views on gay marriage; even her comments on African-Americans and police have changed recently. Clinton is easily the Butterfree of 2016: No politician evolves as much or as quickly as she does.
Bernie Sanders: Charizard
Surprising just about everyone this election season, Bernie Sanders’ candidacy took America’s young people by storm. His campaign made millions of Americans “Feel the Bern,” and he ended up being a surprisingly strong primary opponent to Hillary Clinton. For his efforts to “Bern” down politics as usual in the Democratic Party, Sanders is the Charizard of this election.
Mitt Romney: Haunter
In 2012, Mitt Romney was the Republican nominee for president. Nowadays, he’s stuck playing the role of “Ghost of the GOP Past.” As a prominent voice in the “Never Trump” movement, Romney has acquired a Haunter-esque ability to appear just when Trump wishes he’d stay buried. For his continued trolling of Trump, we award Romney the prestigous position of the Haunter of 2016.
Ted Cruz: Hitmonchan
Ted Cruz was a difficult one to make into a Pokemon, but thanks to his ill-fated selection of Carly Fiorina as his would-be VP, we have our answer. Cruz hit peak awkward in his concession speech when he punched and elbowed his wife’s face in possibly the greatest political GIF of all time. For his mastery of hand-to-hand combat, we name Cruz the Hitmonchan of 2016.
Debbie Wasserman Schultz: Nidoqueen
Debbie Wasserman Schultz is the queen of the DNC. Despite the rage of Sanders’ supporters who saw Wasserman Schultz as Clinton’s woman on the inside, the DNC chair has maintained her position at the top. Even after Republicans awarded her a mock endorsement for her failure to elect Democrats, she still clings to her title with impressive determination. For this, she is named the Nidoqueen of the Democratic Party.
Chris Christie: Snorlax
He’s a big guy with a talent for shutting down major avenues of transportation. Enough said.
