If you are ending relationships over the 2016 presidential election, please do try to get a hold of yourself.
Indeed, if you find yourself severing supposed friendships because you are upset someone voted for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, then for heaven’s sake, take a deep breath and step back from politics for a bit.
Don’t be like Huffington Post editor Michelangelo Signorile. Don’t go on an “unfriending” spree, and certainly don’t advertise it on a high-profile news website.
“Dear X,” he wrote in a post explaining why he can’t be friends with anyone who voted for the GOP nominee. “Every day that goes by since the election I become more despondent and more infuriated about your having supported Donald Trump.”
“The thought of speaking with you, just when maybe the anger has simmered somewhat, becomes more unsettling and enrages me further as each day’s news breaks,” he added. “How could I continue a friendship with you knowing that you voted for rolling back my rights as a gay man – most of Trump’s cabinet choices are vehemently opposed to LGBT rights – and the rights of millions of women and people of color?”
A quick aside: The Trump-is-anti-LGBT-rights argument is a bit of a head-scratcher considering he has arguably pushed the GOP further to the center on these issues than any previous Republican candidate. That tech entrepreneur Peter Thiel, who is gay, was given a plum speaking role at the Republican National Convention this year was no small thing for the party.
Sure, it may seem a small thing to some, but it does seem to contradict frenzied claims that Trump is some sort of enemy of the LGBT community.
As for the rest of Signorile’s article, which is addressed to an unidentified educated white woman, it grows increasingly angry and self-righteous.
“I thought about it for a while, and then decided to unfriend you. Then, days later, I blocked you. If you do reach out with a voice mail or a text, I will likely not return it,” he wrote.
Goodness.
Addressing the (correct) criticism he is behaving in a foolish manner, Signorile wrote, “[T]his election was and continues to be about so much more than ‘politics.’ This is about values and respect. It’s about bigotry and hate,” et cetera, et cetera.
He goes on to argue that the only way to show Trump supporters just how wrong they were to support the Republican is ostracization and social shaming.
“[Y]ou may only be jarred if your comfortable life is affected – such as by losing one or more friends and being forced to reflect on the magnitude of what you’ve done,” Signorile wrote.
“I realize I never really knew you,” he concluded, adding, “I’ll keep my ears open, but unless you experience a truly deep transformation, I’m simply being honest when I say we can no longer be friends.”
There’s not a lot that one can say in response to such a declaration – except maybe, “Lighten up, Francis.”
It is absolutely possible to be fast friends with a person who holds totally opposing political beliefs. See: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her famous friendship with the late Justice Antonin Scalia. They didn’t merely disagree on political preferences, but on very serious issues involving the rights of the human person. Yet, they managed somehow to remain close companions throughout it all. They saw each other for their fine qualities, and they built from there.
“I love him, but sometimes I’d like to strangle him,” Ginsburg, a true-blue liberal, once said of her very, very conservative friend.
The life politicized is a terrible and lonely thing. Don’t do that to yourself.
