It was 3:21 in the afternoon. I was behind a sport utility vehicle, waiting for the red light to change. It could have been on any intersection anywhere ? Towson, Downtown, Sparrows Point, Pigtown, Harlem Park, whatever. The car in back of me could plainly see I was going to turn left when the light changed. Why? Because I had the common courtesy to put my directional on.
The SUV driver in front of me, however, came to the conclusion that I knew by telepathy that it, too, would turn left. Maybe they were right, but I saw no directional lights. Maybe they were going straight. This wasn?t telepathy ? it was anger.
But why? Why should I get angry with a driver in front of me who isn?t telling me what direction their vehicle is going to turn? I mean, who am I to tell a driver that it?s common courtesy to let other drivers know what direction they?re going so no one can plow into them and be even angrier than I? For shame!
And then there?s the clown who glides into the turning lane only to put the directional on when they?re already IN the turning lane and not before! This means that they?re being nice and letting you know that they are indeed going to turn left from this turning lane. But not BEFORE they get to the turning lane.
But then I thought: When did this fantastic trend begin? Who was the first to say “forget it” to the other drivers on the road? It began roughly five years ago all over Baltimore, and it seemed to have come out of the blue. All of a sudden, people forgot where their turn signals were in their vehicles.
You could be behind a car for blocks, and then suddenly, without warning, the moron would turn on you. Maybe his lights were broken. Or maybe his head. Who knew? Then it caught on.
I don?t know why, but it seems to happen more frequently with the bigger vehicles than the regular car. Trucks, SUVs and vans are the usual culprits, I find. I think it?s a superiority thing. “Sorry, little car, but who needs to tell you ANYTHING?!”
Maybe it?s just a Baltimore thing, where drinking the water from the Jones Falls for years has clogged up people?s brains and they?re totally oblivious to others beside themselves. Or it could be the horse blinders a lot of folks wear.
Then again, it?s probably the cell phones more than anything else. Housewives in SUVs who drive 20 miles below the speed limit while on the phone don?t need to signal. They can barely do the speed limit, for God?s sake. Or that middle-aged idiot with the shades on, driving his Mercedes convertible. Why should HE care? He?s a cool cat, zipping through the lanes showing off his supposed wealth. Why should that Honda in back of him know what he?s about to do?
It could be that today?s newer vehicles just don?t come with a turn signal. With all of the new luxuries such as a DVD player, a wet bar, a sunken living room and other amenities, who can remember where the turn signal is?
Now here?s the funny part. Whenever I get in back of one of these dodos and I don?t get a signal, I just honk them. One of two things occur. The oblivious ones brake, thinking that something is wrong with THEIR car, because they have absolutely no idea why the car in back of them honked while they turned left.
The idiot trait is the “I don?t care about you” single finger effect. This means that they?ll do what they want, they know what they?re doing, and how dare you bring this to their attention.
So you see. You can?t win either way. Maybe our men in blue should give tickets out to those who perform in this selfish maneuver. Maybe then they?ll respect others who are driving in back of them.
Wait a minute! Who am I kidding? They?re probably the ones who started this mess.
Steve Liebowitz is a prolific writer of books and articles including “A Consumer?s Guide to Restaurant Bathrooms.” His new book about Atlantic City?s Steel Pier will be released later this year. He can be reached at [email protected].
