Devoutly religious people are repressed and depressed, with pursed-lip visages and censorious attitudes they cannot suppress. Just ask Hollywood or the establishment media — they’ll tell you so. And the more devout, the worse, until somebody becomes like the mother of the title character in the 1970s horror flick “Carrie,” so wigged out by boys asking out her daughter that she locks Carrie in a tiny closet with a kitschy statue of Jesus.

It’s all balderdash, of course. The Pew Research Center released a major survey on Jan. 31 showing that actively religious people are the happiest in the United States. Oh, and in Japan, too. And also in Australia, Singapore, Peru, Germany, and indeed all but six of the 26 nations from which Pew compiled data.