In an era where feminists seem to have most of the platform, some people think it’s hard to know what to do with men and the fathers they become. “Why Can’t We Hate Men?” bemoaned a writer in the Washington Post recently. There’s a lot of reasons not to hate men, but one of the many ways is to consider the good men do as individuals, rather than lumping them all in as a criminal, aggressive, worthless collective.

Part of why I don’t personally identify as a feminist is because I see all the good men do in the world. I see those good things so readily because I had, and still have, a great father myself. I wouldn’t know how to be a good dad because I’m not one, but I know what was effective, based on my experience and walking alongside many people who too had great fathers.