Never let it be said that I am some sort of Luddite. Yes, I have a taste for vintage this and retro that. Were I offered the choice between a new Tesla 3 and an impeccably restored 1962 MGA 1600 Mk II, I wouldn’t think twice: I’d buy the roadster and pocket the change.

Which, counterintuitively, brings me to the proof of my thorough modernity. Just as I have never had an impeccably restored 1962 MGA 1600 Mk II — were I tweeting, this is where a frowny face emoji would go — I now never have any pocket change. In best modern fashion, I carry no cash at all. My every transaction is managed by credit or debit. Sometimes I even Venmo.