At the Hippocrates Wellness Resort in West Palm Beach, Florida, sick people spend small fortunes on a suite of exotic treatments: revitalizing lasers, crystal sound baths, hand-pressed wheatgrass shots, even something called colon hydrotherapy, “a natural method of removing waste from the large intestine without the use of drugs.” The on-site store provides a range of health-related amenities, such as juicing equipment and EMF protection. In the resort’s Wigmore Hall — named for Ann Wigmore, the Lithuanian raw food enthusiast who inspired the Hippocrates approach — I listened to cancer patients excoriate mainstream doctors while they ate enzyme-rich vegan meals and drank alkalizing organic green juice.  

Were they under a spell? Could I break it with some straight talk? Taking a dump is a natural, drug-free way to remove waste from the colon! I would shout, a vicious sweep of my arm sending wheatgrass shots flying. You’re being swindled!