They say when you hear something over and over again it seeps into your mind to such a degree that it’s no longer shocking. Nor do the details seem to matter. Instead, we become immune to it all.
That’s what’s happening to Americans who are waking up each day to yet another sexual harassment claim. The story, which only weeks ago was solely about Harvey Weinstein, has unleashed a tsunami of allegations against powerful men in America’s two most powerful industries: Hollywood and the media. What to conclude from it all is murky at best.
Hollywood wants you to believe it’s all so obvious: Men are pigs. The media wants you to know that harassment of women in the workplace is unacceptable. Few would disagree with the latter, but it isn’t that simple. The issue goes much, much deeper.
I’ve written for years about Hollywood and the media, never about this particular subject but always about the corruption of these two industries. We’re making a mistake to assume sexual harassment is equally rampant across all other industries. It is not. Hollywood and the media are unlike any other work environment — to compare these two worlds with other work environments is absurd. Most workplaces aren’t saturated in sex the way these two industries are, mainly because there are no cameras that demand men and women (especially women) look sexy and perfectly coiffed all the time.
In an environment like that, of course sexual innuendo, sexual overtures, and, yes, sexual harassment is going to occur. The very air these folks breathe is sexual, and most people know this going in. Those who want to be actors and journalists — in other words, in the media spotlight — are people who want and need attention. They like the power of the camera; it feeds their egos. If you put a bunch of men and women with this mentality together every single day, sparks are going to fly. Between the make-up room, the clothes, the playacting, and the cameras, it all begs for things to go wrong.
The notion that women in these industries are innocent is silly. Yes, the men and women (we don’t hear about them, but they’re there) who prey upon those who are young and unsuspecting is wrong. Of course it’s wrong. But mixed in with these bad apples are just as many women who know exactly what they’re doing.
These men we call sexual “predators,” most of whom are not raping women but are, in effect, sexually propositioning them, would not be successful if there were fewer women willing to participate in such a way that allows the men to think their advances are welcome. A common thread among the men who’ve been accused is that, while they’ve apologized for being inappropriate, honestly they thought they were flirting with women who were flirting with them. They believed it was a two-way street.
I’m not referring to the Harvey Weinstein debacle, but to the torrent of subsequent harassment claims in which men who are guilty of egregious behavior are lumped in with men who flirt. And that is a slippery slope.
Flirting in the workplace, some of which crosses the line and becomes harassment and most of which doesn’t, has been around for decades. Of course, there were fewer women in the workplace back in the day, and America had yet to become such a morally vacuous country. But it was there nonetheless.
My mother, for instance, was a stockbroker in the 1950s — clearly a male-dominated field. When she faced sexism at the company for which she worked, she quit and found another company, also male-dominated, that was happy to have her and where the men treated her well.
But the fact remains that my mother was a flirt. A big one, actually. She was also beautiful. But in those days, the women who were in the workforce knew how to handle these situations better. They recognized that putting men and women together in a workplace environment with no spouses or children in sight was precarious. They knew sexual energy would be in the air. To believe otherwise, to believe it’s possible for it to be otherwise, is just silly.
There will always be Harvey Weinsteins in the world, and they will always dominate in Hollywood and the media. But the answer to this problem is not to castigate all men as potential sexual predators and women as innocent victims. It’s to recognize the delicate nature of putting men and women together all day in an environment that’s meant solely for work. Consider how many people meet their spouses at work—that alone proves the workplace is never without chemistry.
Bottom line: Every exchange between the sexes at work does not constitute ‘harassment.’ To suggest otherwise is a slippery slope.
Suzanne Venker (@SuzanneVenker) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is an author, Fox News contributor, and trustee of Leading Women for Shared Parenting. Her fifth book, “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage: HOW LOVE WORKS,” was published in February.
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