Go stock up on Juul pods

Having learned nothing more than a century after the start of Prohibition and after decades of the war on drug’s utter and complete failure, the federal government has decided to turn legal vaping into enemy No. 1.

So what if the Sackler family walks free while 130 Americans die of opioid overdoses per day? The nanny state has an axe to grind with your vapes.

The Trump administration’s push to all but ban vaping from the legal market isn’t quite a war on e-cigarettes. That would imply that it’s the nicotine pods that are causing a curious strain of lung problems in vapers when, in all likelihood, it’s illegal THC-laced pods from the black market that are responsible. Naturally, both parties have joined forces to push the legal vape pods to the black market and make it just as easy as before to buy the illegal ones that might just kill you.

Your resistance, legally speaking, is futile. Despite Juul’s best efforts to fit in with Washington sycophants and bend the knee to our regulatory overlords, the Food and Drug Administration, the White House, and now the bloviating big government on both sides of the political aisle aren’t budging in their misdirected ire. However, your market power is not.

It’s time to vote with your dollars and prepare for the worst. Go to your local 7-Eleven, or even better yet, your neighborhood mom and pop vape shop and stock up on Juul pods.

Today, protesters are expected to shut down the streets of D.C. to stick it to climate change. It won’t really accomplish anything aside from enraging those of us with jobs to get to and perhaps exacerbate greenhouse gas emissions by bringing traffic to a standstill, but I have to appreciate the passion. As the great Dylan Thomas once instructed, rage against the dying of the light. Or the certainty of death caused by climate change. Or the certainty of Beltway authoritarians banning your Juul pods.

So go ahead and pick up some Juul pods, and maybe a case of White Claw while you’re at it, and say goodbye to summer and yet another receding free market as you take a hit of a product that almost certainly won’t kill one half of its lifelong users.

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