Michael Cohen, eager masochist and former gofer to President Trump, couldn’t go to prison without one last act of self-humiliation.

Everything ever written about Cohen paints a cautionary tale for young boys. Now, son, here’s a man you don’t want to become. Whether he’s confessing his unrequited love for his boss (“I’m the guy who would take a bullet for the president”) or taking “responsibility” for his years of bank fraud and his taxi medallion scheme (he also neglected to claim income from the sale of a luxury purse), there is no redeeming quality to Cohen’s public life.