Like any savvy investor, I am always on the lookout for signs that the economy may be overheating, that things may be getting a bit frothy. Of particular concern are exotic businesses that pop up at the very end of economic booms, selling products or services that will be the first items struck off the shopping list once things go south. You know what I’m talking about. Fantasy Capo di Tutti Capi camps. Cribbage with the Stars. Falconry Schools for the Blind.

Recently, several enterprises matching this general description caught my eye. The Sirens of the Deep Mermaid Camp in Weeki Wachee Springs State Park down in Florida is a perfect example. Here, for $450, women can slip into a tight, taut body-sculpting spandex tail with matching fins and learn how to convincingly impersonate the mythical denizens of the deep. The two-day camp teaches aspiring mermaids how to perform a variety of sophisticated thalassa-balletic maneuvers, including the archetypal “mermaid crawl.” (Will camp alumni have a legs-up, so to speak, at this week’s auditions to be professional Weeki Wachee mermaids?) The camp also shows participants how to hold a submerged pose when being photographed. As anyone familiar with this sort of thing will tell you, nothing is more humiliating for a faux-mermaid than not being able to hold a submerged pose. Why even bother attending mermaid camp if you can’t learn how to hold a submerged pose? Rank aquateur.