No s***, there I was, to use the old soldiers’ parlance, at the park, back in my old hometown in Iowa, joyously celebrating a glorious America 250 Independence Day, when I saw a man wearing an “Afghanistan War Veteran” hat. Fantastic! I’m always eager to meet a fellow Afghanistan veteran.
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“All right!” I said to him. “You served in Afghanistan, too? Where were you stationed?”
The man froze, lips parted, that faraway look in his eyes as he stammered. No answer.
It is impossible that anyone who served in Afghanistan would not know where he served in that country. The man was a filthy liar.
I told this story to my friend and fellow Afghanistan War veteran, Staff Sgt. Tyler Clabaugh. He laughed and said, “I got a story for you.”
In 2024, Clabaugh’s sister-in-law was excited to bring her boyfriend, Steve, to the family Thanksgiving. Steve seemed like a solid guy. A month earlier, Clabaugh had talked to him on the phone. Steve mentioned his service in the Marine Corps. Staff Sergeant Clabaugh had retired from the Iowa Army National Guard. They’d have much to discuss.
But not long after Steve arrived at the crowded house, he told Clabaugh’s father-in-law that he’d been in the Air Force. Something wasn’t right. But the big family get-together meant a lot of people in the house, and several conversations going on at once. Maybe Clabaugh heard wrong.
Later, Clabaugh talked to Steve directly, except now Steve claimed he’d served in the Navy. “What did you do in the Navy?” Clabaugh asked.
“I called in A-10s,” said Steve.
The A-10 ground attack jet? “What do you mean you called in A-10s? That doesn’t sound like a thing. Why would a Navy man be working with Air Force aircraft?”
Steve claimed he told the A-10s where to land. This was technically possible, but highly unlikely. One thing about the Air Force is that it does a pretty good job of landing its own birds.
Clabaugh was about out of patience with this guy. Then Steve said he served in the first Gulf War. He showed photos from his deployment, none showing his face. But instead of wearing the famous early ’90s “chocolate chip” desert camouflage, the guys in Steve’s photo were wearing the most modern camo, uniforms that were at least two generations newer than the Desert Camouflage Uniforms that Clabaugh and I wore in 2005. Steve wasn’t showing a photo from the Persian Gulf War. It’s inconceivable that any service member could make that mistake.
“I was f***ing done with him,” Clabaugh told me. He pulled up his Facebook account and showed Steve real photos of Clabaugh and his guys really serving in a war. Steve got really quiet. “He was not worth my time after that point,” Clabaugh said.
Fortunately for Clabaugh’s family, his sister-in-law didn’t have much time for Steve after that either.
Why do people lie about serving in the military? Why do so many lie so badly? Steve could easily have kept a consistent and plausible story. Fourth of July Liar Guy bought a nice Afghanistan War Veteran hat. Why not also select a duty station? A few years ago, I told you about another liar who claimed he couldn’t pronounce the name of his Afghan station. Um… it’s not hard to say “Kandahar” or “Kabul.”
I’m not sure what’s more insulting: the fact that they lie about serving, or that they do it so badly, as if they think we’re too dumb to figure it out.
TRENT REEDY: DIFFICULT IRAN NEGOTIATIONS ARE NOT NEW TERRITORY
Staff Sgt. Tyler Clabaugh was a solid soldier and a great leader who served in some truly dangerous situations. He deserves better than to be subjected to some self-aggrandizing liar’s poorly constructed fictions. We all do.
Faithful readers, I’m easy to find on social media. If you’ve encountered a military liar, especially a stolen valor liar, please let me know. Let’s do more to call these guys out on their bulls***.
Trent Reedy (@Trent_Reedy), author of several books including Enduring Freedom, served as a combat engineer in the Iowa Army National Guard from 1999 to 2005, including a tour of duty in Afghanistan. *Some names and call signs in this story may have been changed due to operational security or privacy concerns.
