Have you ever cared or even thought about how much candidates spend on pizza? Well, Gawker sure does. On Tuesday they came out with “Which Candidate’s Campaign Spends the Most Money on Pizza: An Investigation.”
Here were the rankings:
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- Carly Fiorina: $0
- John Kasich: $69
- Marco Rubio: $293
- Donald Trunp: $1,233
- Chris Christie: $1,527
- Rand Paul: $2,185
- Ted Cruz: $2,481
- Bernie Sanders: $3,354
- Jeb Bush: $3,583
- Ben Carson: $3,707
- Hillary Clinton: $9,046
Here’s how the piece starts off:
Because we all need such a reminder? Also, clearly author Gabrielle Bluestone hasn’t experienced much New York pizza if she describes it as “occasionally exceptional,” just like America itself.
Gawker also admits the uselessness of it all, though they still conducted the survey anyways “just to see how aligned they are with America’s pizza values.” Gawker’s idea of such “values,” that is.
If Fiorina spent zero on pizza why is she eve in the rankings then? It provides an excuse to write “this woman will never be president.”
When it comes to Trump’s expenses on pizza, “Donald Trump looks like a pizza, but his campaign sure isn’t paying for it.” They’ve also dug up an old commercial of him and Ivana for Pizza Hut complete with… alimony jokes? Who doesn’t want Pizza Hut now? Point being Trump has no loyalty to Pizza Hut. It’s worth noting he does have better taste though.
Ted Cruz is represented by… an image of the Pizza Rat. There’s also an excuse for Bluestone to write “I do not respect Ted Cruz but I do respect his campaign’s pizza consumption.”
Bernie Sanders’ pizza tastes are described as “underwhelming.” And be that as it may, it is still awesome to see him eating among the regular folks.
Know how @BernieSanders eats pizza? In a crowded food court @pizzahut, like the rest of us. #getforksoutofbigpizza pic.twitter.com/SZIXmlygfA
— Taylor Sloan (@taylorsloan) January 19, 2016
Oh, Jeb! Not only was this very not recent and not so flattering picture of him dug up, but the only note was that “Jeb Bush spends a lot of money to have such terrible taste in pizza.”
When it comes to Ben Carson, Bluestone suggests his pizza consumption may have gone up as his popularity dropped.
And then there’s Hillary, who outspends the second place spender by more than double. And what’s the comment to be made? “Hillary Clinton is the one true Pizza Queen.” Sure she is.
