With the 250th anniversary of American independence just months away, let’s hope the lesson Americans take away from the record-long government shutdown — which disrupted the lives of countless air travelers, food assistance recipients, and federal employees, among others — is that the best way to resolve disagreements in a free society is not through conflict, but by identifying common interests through the exchange of ideas.

Though necessary at times, conflict is not inevitable. Every American, individually, has agency to steer disagreements away from name-calling and rhetorical head-butting. But first, people need to change both their attitudes and their personal behavior.