Guests 5, Bimbo 3, Ties 2
Wherever The Examiner goes, people ask, “How does Bimbo do it?”
The answer is simple — inside information.
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Between viewings of the “Planet of the Apes” trilogy, The Examiner’s prognosticating primate watches football games and has an extraordinary instinct for body language. By looking at just a few plays and a quick scan of the sidelines, Bimbo can tell which team is hungrier, fiercer, bigger, faster, stronger and, most importantly, walks more upright.
Those are key factors often overlooked by the Vegas elite. So take that Jimmy the Greek. Stick it that in your turban Swami. And go eat a banana Wayne Allyn Root. Bimbo is turning the prediction business on its ear. Things will never be the same at Mandalay Bay.
Last week Bimbo demonstrated her forecasting prowess once again, going 8-6, to tie UMBC basketball coach Randy Monroe (8-6) and defeat Loyola basketball coach Jimmy Patsos (6-8) and ESPN anchor John Anderson (6-8). This illustrious panel of prognosticators gave it their best shot, but couldn’t quite measure up to the Princess of Prophecy, who pushed her season’s mark to 48-40.
Like Robert Duvall in “Apocalypse Now,” Bimbo can literally smell victory. And she did it last week with key picks of victorious road teams Jacksonville and Philadelphia. She also made some enemies with her pick of Indianapolis over her beloved hometown Ravens. But that’s what a seasoned handicapper must do — listen to her head, not her heart.
This week, Bimbo puts her reputation on the line against Jill Sorenson of Comcast SportsNet. The ladies see 10 games the same way, including the Redskins over the Browns. Bimbo likes a lot of home teams this week, however, picking the Patriots over the Broncos, Packers over the Colts, and Bills over the Chargers, with Jill going the other way.
| Games | Bimbo | Sorenson |
| Chargers at Bills Saints at Panthers Vikings at Bears Steelers at Bengals Titans at Chiefs Ravens at Dolphins 49ers at Giants Cowboys at Rams Lions at Texans Colts at Packers Browns at Redskins Jets at Raiders Seahawks at Buccaneers Broncos at Patriots |
Chargers Panthers Bears Steelers Titans Dolphins 49ers Cowboys Texans Packers Redskins Jets Buccaneers Patriots |
Bills Panthers Bears Steelers Titans Dolphins Giants Cowboys Texans Colts Redskins Jets Buccaneers Broncos |
Every banana helps Bimbo
Bimbo would love to hear from you. If you would like to send a letter or a care package — she loves papayas, apples, grapes, grilled cheese sandwiches and french fries and warm, snugly blankets. Please send all items to Colleen Layton-Robbins at Frisky’s Wildlife & Primate Sanctuary, 10790 Old Frederick Road, Woodstock, MD 21163.
Oogie’s corner
Oogie, Bimbo’s best friend, desperately needs your help. She is losing her sight and needs to have surgery to have the cataract in her left eye removed. Oogie has battled cataracts her entire life, and doesn’t want to go blind. Please help Oogie by sending your tax deductible donations today. Oogie was not sold on the Browns’ performance against the Giants and predicts the Redskins will improve to 5-2.