The new “Dancing With The Stars” lineup is out, with Chad Ochocinco and Erin Andrews as the top sports celebrities competing. It got us thinking about creating our own DWTS list, with a few adjustments to the rules:
1. Terrell Owens » Of course, it’s a little hard these days for Owens to find a willing partner. So we’ll use historic props instead. Sharpie? Check. Pom-poms? Check. Hyperbaric chamber? Check.
2. Danica Patrick » Wearing full racing gear (helmet included) and with crew chief Tony Eury Jr. serving as dance partner, choreography coach and guest judge.
3. Sidney Crosby » With special guest partner — and known Crosby superfan — Mike Milbury! Slow jams only.
4. Alex Ovechkin » With special guest partner — and known Ovechkin basher — Don Cherry! Remember Alex, no celebrating when you win. You … must … talk … like … this.
5. Alex Rodriguez » Just imagine A-Rod’s press conference after winning the Mirrorball Trophy. “This is truly a special moment.” (Pauses, smacks lips) “To be mentioned in the same breath as Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough … it’s an honor.”
